Finished Rewrite

I finally finished a ridiculous rewrite of a short I want to shoot this summer. I mean, this story has really changed shape. I'm not sure I've taken it in a "better" direction, but the characters have a much more realistic motivation than they did in the original.

It basically began as this southern Gothic like piece in which a little girl's imaginary friend must save her mother from an abusive father. The Gothic worked, but the characters, particulary the abusive father seemed a bit overdone and cliched to me. I couldn't tell what was making him abusive, and short of the usual alcoholic, resentful bastard shtick, I decided to rewrite him, which pointed to a rewrite of the tale. I resisted this, at first, because it was basically a true "revision" in the sense that it was almost not the same story. But I decided to go for it because my initial rewrite balooned the short into a 34 page monster far beyond my means of production. So, I killed the daughter - literally - and decided to focus on a present action - took the process to my college short story writing roots - FIND THE PRESENT ACTION.

It turned out as a story of a couple trying to move on after the loss of their daughter. The action actually begins on the day (two years after her death) that they try packing up her room. The daughter's ghost, upon hearing they intend to move on and try to restart their family, decides to haunt the mother (in a nice way) to prevent her from forgetting her. The father, however, cannot see the ghost, thinks his wife is losing it (or that he doesn't love his daughter enough to see her spirit) - and the story goes from there. Still have my doubts about about the pacing, as I might be cramming too much into 20 pages. But then again, I read it and think nothing really happens. I just don't know. My daughter likes it. Heather's listened to it, a lot. She'd tell me if she hated it. I think. But I'm setting it down for a month to write something else, something short and simple. Maybe I'll finish my Teenie Bop TV script that my daughter loves. But I want to write a short prose story, and I think I found the simple scene for it. It's a Raymond Carveresque tale that came to me this weekend.


It is a simple scene, based on a true story, of a man and woman moving in a heavy piece of furniture into their home while having a serious marital fight about a dead relative. Hope to make it five to seven pages and I may write it into a short script later. Haven't slapped much prose on paper in a while and was going through some old stuff, and man, I actually used to write all right.

Anyway...other bits...writing music recommendations - THEIVERY CORPORATION and FILLA BRAZILLA - trippy, sometimes Jazzy, sometimes hip-hoppy, always fresh world sounds...nice instrumentals, good for creating. Recommend hitting pandora.com and typing either of these names in.

Also finsihed an edit (actually months ago) on a Christian hip-hop vid for an artist doing great things for people in Downtown S-Town - that's Suffolk to the outsiders. His name's PT Rolla Mane, and the song is MOG (Man of God). Ch-ch-check it.