Projects

Watering Stones is entering it's final phaze (I think), and keeping busy has been easy. Polishing up another short script called Penny Wise - a southern gothic piece about a little girl (Juju) who dreams of a little orphan girl (Penny) who looks just like her. Penny has a secret she's just dieing to share with Juju - and what it is will change everything - for good. It's pretty tight and easy to shoot. Just three actors - two key locations and two bit locations.

Aside from that, I'm getting involved with that Regent U. group and have a pre-production meeting at Regent on Monday. It's cool working and watching other new filmmakers handle problems and stress and creativity. Teaches alot. I'm looking forward to working around someone else's vision to help bring it out. I don't know exactly what my role will be, but I've got a solid prospect for their primary location through a regular at Java. And...he has a plane. It's a fairly short - short, but should be interesting watching the producer and director impart their vision, a thing I have trouble with. I have the vision and it makes sense to me - but I struggle with "delicately" conveying what I want.

And...a "dead" project seems to be trying to rear its ugly head. Shot a mockumentary/"reality" show with a buddy in South Suffolk, called The Adventure of Tone Loc. Been sitting on the footage waiting for him to make a studio version of the song. He's back from NY with a track (and an album) and he wants to push forward with it. That could be an editing extravaganza. We've got like 6 hours worth of footage, and I only envision 30-45 min worth of narrative in it. So...need to get Heather her own computer.

And many others...I've noticed having ideas isn't the problem, its deciding which are worth the precious amount of time I'm able to spend on this right now. Been shooting in the yard for food...still haven't hit that bubbling crude.

Javalicious

As much shit as I give my shop for holding me hostage, I owe it alot (not really, since I've been paying it a whole helluva lot more than it's been paying me). But seriously, it's been the single biggest motivator for me as a writer. For one, when we were slow, I had a job where I could sit down, have killer coffee, listen to killer tunes, and actually write without a boss telling me to
"look busy". For two, I've met great people. People who've inspired me in various ways, or connected me, or showed me a way. I met a few more people like that over the past couple weekends.

Last weekend, a Regent University group used the shop as a location for their short film "Eyes to Dishonesty", a short about a cheating man and wife whose infidelities are revealed by the honest eyes (and mouth) of their son. Great experience. Great people. Got to talking with them and one of the guys is shooting another short out here in Suffolk. One thing I've learned lately is the biggest asset an aspiring filmmaker (or aspiring anything) is to meet other people who want to make films. There are no solo projects, and meeting these folks and more folks like these is the biggest step I can take. Yesterday, the DP and the producer came in the shop and asked if I'd like to help. Of course, I said yes. Gotta love Java.

This weekend I had another experience I'm sure I'd never have had without this place. I f
shot a revival at a local nondemoninational church. The youth minister is an amazing guy named Dominique Epps. I mean, this guy actually donated a kidney to a girl in this church who he never met, saved her life. Talk about putting up or shutting up. The real deal. Got some amazing footage of this young man inspiring some folks who have lost all hope at their dreams. A real eye opener. Can't wait to edit it into something great for the guy.

Also, worked on my first few scenes of ADR. That shit's tough. Definately need to tighten up my production sound skills or find a good sound guy (from the Regent Crew) who can keep me from having to mess with this shit again. All in all, productive, blessed, and ready to eat the shit out of some turkey.

3 Years as The Gimp

The shop turned three today! I can't believe it. I never thought it would be this f-ing hard! But looking back on all the strife and triumph thus far, I can say without a doubt....I'll never open a restaurant again!

Joking aside, I wouldn't change it if I could.

STILL cutting

Editing ain't no jive. Shit's hard. Much respect for those that do it for dough. Picked up some scenics today and still have a few reshots to get before I have all the pictures I want. Editing really shows you how bad of a director you are. Man. I mean, forget a few closeups and your scene is fucked! Forget to nail that long shot, and you're stuck with all close ups for a really disorienting scene. I'll be a much better director after this.

Got some music for the film from my man Junior Jones. Just need to remaster it and add some darker notes to it. All in all, the whole thing is turning out better than I thought it would. And that's nice. I mean, some scenes aren't the way I'd imagined them, and some are better. So, now I'll just edit the film towards those strengths.

So far, star of the show, my little man above. Alex, as Bene (the lead) as a child. That's a still from the film. He's a damn natural.

Cut'n a rug

Now the fun begins. I'm somewhat of a hermit, so editing appeals to me. With only a day of reshoots to put down, I'm just sitting in the dark with the headphones on - in peace. Nothing like spending all day talking to people, making their samiches, their coffee, listening to them complain, holding my complaints hostage in my head - then finally being able to escape into this little movie I've got trying to be born.

Production always humbles me. I've only tried it twice (the first was a disaster of ignorance), but I have the utmost respect for you long time TV and filmmakers. You got balls kids. Sitting with the script and dreaming of the shots, you start to think "I can do this". You get the people in space and the problems start coming faster than you can remember how to address them, and I just sit back and go "Wow, this is so much harder than I thought." But that's what draws me to it. But again, this time last year, I was bemoaning a failed attempt at shooting a short, and this year I have one within my grasp to edit! I've moved forward. Maybe a millimeter, maybe even a shorter distance than that, but still, forward. That's all that matters, right?

Back to writing as well...

Still have about twenty or thirty pages to put into a feature that I'm thinking is good.

Then, maybe a few little commercials for the shop for a demo reel and our website.

Then, maybe another short - this one a one location - one act deal so I can work on lighting and acting technique.

Got to read a working writer's script and learned a ton of stuff (thanks David) - how I can put more style into action description and be a little more playful than I've been (among other things).

Just actually have to switch back into writing mode - find the time, refind the story and still edit the movie.

Two days

Two days until we shoot Watering Stones. I feel like I have everything squared away. Did a read-through with the actors Monday. Have another on Thursday night. We shoot Friday all day, Saturday all day, and Sunday is reserved for pick-ups and reshoots. My boy (pictured above) actually has a ton of lines, and he sat in the read-through and picked all them up from listening. Went home and went over them before bed, and he's already got them memorized. You can tell by looking at him, he's that cool.

I feel like a boxer who's ready to fight, but has to shadow box for two more days. Waiting is unnerving. I'm very impatient when it comes to things like this. Need to find a way to channel the anticipation and not explode.

Two days.

Friday, hurry up and come.

Casting

The summer's almost gone. I could say without a doubt, it was our best one yet. Moved into a new house, out of the bad hood, into a good one. Heather's become a working photographer. I'm working on a film project. The kids have just continued being the two coolest kids - learned to fish, swim, ride two wheels, hit a baseball, paint a house, act in a movie. All in one summer. Nothing I can think of beats fishing with my son for the first time. We caught these catfish that swim up near pa-inlaw's dock. It's almost like catching a house pet, but Alex loved it. Tossed it back. I can see that moment having been had between father and son probably since the first time humans hunted fish. He liked casting the best.

Mine for the films is done as well! I think. I've called back the girl. The pastor is great. I mean, he's more experienced than I'd hoped for in what's basically a student film project (without even the filmschool sanction). But I don't have a Bene. I'm leaning towards playing him. I mean, I wrote the story in first person, and it's quite a polished story. I know the character, and if I threw in some blue contacts, could match myself to my son (whose playing Bene as a boy). But I'm concerened how to direct and act at the same time. Seems alot like trying to play the guitar and sing at the same time, without knowing how to do either.

Other than that...rolling. Storyboarded pretty heavily. Planning on turning the house into a church on Saturday. I have these huge deck boards left over from the deck we just put on, and I'm erecting a real live crucifix in the yard for all to behold. With that, a few nailed to the house complete with a cemetery and wire fence. All the locations are secured and accessable throughout preproduction. Should be a blast.

Gun Nuts

Let me preface this with, I hate guns. If I were classifying myself before running for national office, I would be a self-proclaimed anti-gun liberal. With that said:

This weekend I shot a kick-ass AK-47, a 12 guage shotgun that about blew my shoulder off when it kicked back on me, and a little .22 rifle with scope. Never shot a gun before. I have to admit, it has a moment of exilaration that comes with it, followed by a moment of disappointment (much like the other first time with a more familiar lower caliber gun). I mean, shooting pepsi cans and folding chairs--come on. NRA masturbation at its best. Cool pictures of me shooting the weapons aside, still don't see what the big love affair with the thunder stick is. And neither could my dog. However, my boy love it! To see a five year old, peering down the scope at the poor helpless orange juice bottle on a stump....I felt like I was in Palestine, training my son to defend his sisters from the evil forces of some other religion. My daughter was much like me. She fired the weapon, but didn't ask again. Even turned down second opportunities. Heather wouldn't touch the things.

Of course, we weren't shooting in our back yard. We took the kids camping for the first time, so I felt it was in the spirit of the trip to let my kids fire lethal weapons. To be honest, I caved under the pressure of my son's begging eyes, and he's such a cool ass kid, I just couldn't say no. If he ends up commiting some sort of Columbine killing years from now, refer to this post to call me a bozo.

All in all, one of the top five weekends of my life. Without a doubt. Wife was awesome. Kids were awesome. Sister-in-law and her boyfriend were great company, and though I don't mesh that well with gun-toating F-350 driving types, he and I got along great. I'm just more of a nancy I guess. I like books and writing. He was asking me to go on a hike every five minutes. Aside from that, though, once I fired a few hundred rounds of lead, he let me be on the hiking thing. I read a little. Wrote on the way home. Thought a ton about how lucky I am to have such a bomb ass family.

As far as Watering Stones goes, got home and weeded through headshots. Called back 5 girls for the female lead - 3 guys for the male lead - and three for the male supporting. Auditions are on the 15th. I'm a bit nervous. Never taken myself this serious. It occurred to me, that this step is alot like stepping up on kareoke night and having to decide whether or not to give it your all, sing like you feel it in your bones, or just go up there and goof off so you don't get hurt when you fail. I now have a responsibility to sing all the vocals like there were mine. Fuck the drunks in the second row talking through my prerecorded set of John Mayer tunes that I'm singing from my toes. I have to belt it out. These three actors will force me to take myself seriously. Those three days of shooting, I'll HAVE to be a director, not some coffee boy, but a director damnit! Action, bitches.

My kids love acting

The Wizard of Oz

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Goofed around with the kids one day. They loved this and actually knew the lines between each other before ever showing me. Went to my mom's house the weekend prior and she put them in these costumes and they said the lines to each other. I just had to put them where I wanted. I can say without a doubt, they are better kids than any parent deserves. I mean, like two good friends with you all the time.

Nothing like moving to get you moving

Feeling good. Posted call for actors and crew. Already got two people on board who I worked with on the 48hour film. Both great people. One has a crane. Crane shots I wrote will work, and he's another awesome photographer. A few good looking leads on actors, especially the bad guy. No female leads yet. No male leads. Have guy who says he'll play him, but he's not an actor. Fits the look and has the desire. Sometimes wanting to do something is more an asset than knowing how to do something. But I plan on waiting about two to three weeks to do auditions. I'm pleased at the response. Anyway, tonight I storyboard. But first, dinner and kid-time.

I've got a fever, and the only thing that can cure it...more cowbell.

That's how it's been. Only without cowbell, instead, shooting.

Spend one night filmming (videoing) DonJuan. I fucking love it! This shit. All of it.
Scheduled the shooting of Watering Stones. Posted listings for free actors on craigslist and myspace and vpa. I want to get this shit rolling.

Still have a ton to do with it. Locations. Locations. Locations. Fighting with a couple of philosophies. Use easily accessable locations to give me time to focus on technical stuff and learning set design and creative producing? Or find a visually killer location that might be remote, without electric, schedule destructive or restrictive just for the sake of a nuturally stunning visual? I think either has merit. Leaning towards the easy location - but worried about investing so much other energy on a location that doesn't meet my visual, well, vision.

And the shop is looking tight. Heather decked out the place with a round of fresh photos. Officially rolled out a lunch special that could rock the block. Gotta give food away in peanut town to stay in business. Gimp suits tight, but I can still look good in it.

DonJuan, Take Juan

Great days. Alex (my little boy and best bud) turned 5. I swear. I'm so thankful (though sometimes I forget) for my kids. I think about how soon they'll be a man and a woman and won't have that soft little voice and how my son won't let me kiss him someday. I can't imagine the assholes that run off and leave those little voices behind. I already miss them, and they're not even gone yet.

On the filmmaking front:

Starting our little shoot of DonJuan DeMantis at the house tonight. Still need to tweak the mantises. They look more like grasshoppers. Need lobster claws to paint. Or crab legs. Anyway, small detail. The humor will buy us out of realism. Hopefully.

Finished continuity breakdown of "Watering Stones" a 12 minute short and should be ready to shoot it in September. October would be cool too, but the energy's in my small crew NOW. Waiting could mean calling on volunteers who I don't know. Either way, my goal is to have editing taking place in October. I'm focusing my attention on sound. I feel that small gains in sound knowledge could result in huge results in the product. But still learning everything. I can take pictures, and God my wife's a killer photographer, so between us, the pictures will work. I'm working on shot flow for these fine pictures, but my brains wrapping around that okay. It's the sound shit, that's buggin' me out. I'm not a master of frequencies and such, and my equipment is a little rustic. Nonetheless, excited to be breaking down the scenes and working out the logistics. Gives you a real sense of your story and the look and what you'll be able to accomplish given your own particular circumstances. Would love to have it done by Halloween (Java's 4 year anniversary). God, where has my life gone? I mean, yay!

On the Restaurant front:
First day back after losing appendix. People in this town still don't appreciate a cafe. Should've opened on Granby. But then I'd have tunnel traffic. All considered. Not so bad in Suffolk. It's a retirement plan, or an early grave.

Don JuanDemantis

Just a little post to stay in the habit, and to get out of writing anything scriptwise.

Working on a goofy short with friends to get the juices flowing. It's called:

DonJuan DeMantis

The greatest lover mantisdom has ever seen. The greatest thing I've learned with it so far is how to rationalize spending money making styrophome mantises for a film project. Get your kids involved. My daughter's making the jewelery for the lady mantises, and we'll all make mantises tonight after dinner. My little girl is the sweetest. She's stringing beads for the necklaces and she turns and asks me, "Daddy, is this a very important movie." Of course I said yes, and explained how this is something we're all trying to learn. And I can see her brain going. Asking me questions like, "How is the mantis going to talk?" "How will it look like he's talking?" We walked around Walmart for an hour and a half and she helped me get things to make mantises. Initially we're looking for these plastic crap mantises and they only had one. It looked shitty, and the project would have been a waste of time. But we headed over to the craft section and she starts throwing ideas out--GOOD IDEAS. Not to sound condescending, but I was so amazed to see her actually working the problems out. How to make it work. She could see it. And we ended up coming up with a better project and something we all could work on. So short story long, spent a hundred bucks on mantis making materials, but turned it into a family project. Got a feeling that hundred bucks will pay off.

Anyway, DonJuan is the only mantis who doesn't get eaten by his lover. The rest is a secret.

Ps...anyone know how to put video on this thing?

I've always wanted to be a Socialist

One of my dreams came true today! No, didn't win any awards or find an already scratched 5.00 lotto winner tickets. I became a socialist! Well, I joined a union. I didn't feel like a communist when I left, although I tried finding my Che Guevera shirt to wear after, but I think it got paint on it from real estate renovation. True commie I am.

No, it was pretty alright. There were too others being baptised or inducted, and they tried talking us out of it, telling us how little work there was on the horizon for virginia crew members, how there might be the dark days of va filmmaking, how I might end up on a cheezy commercial or some other low pay gig. But these jokers never ran a cafe in a small southern peanut town! I've lived in hell baby. Everything else is just a hot tub from here. I'm sure I'll eat those words one day, but these days they're true.

So the next step is to call and try getting on as a day player in Baltimore on a disney-notdisney production up there that's going on. I have about two-four weeks before I can lift anything heavier than a laptop, but then I'll be ready. Walking around Richmond to find lunch was hard enough. Don't want to make my debut and have my guts spill out.

I broke down Watering Stones, despite being scriptless. And I need a church for a location. Problem is, the story's about a sicko pastor. Do I need to divulge that when asking for location? Should I lie, to a church? Tell them it's about a teenaged girls love for a radically aged alter boy? I've tried imagining ways of filming without using a church, but I'm worried it'll come off fake. But I'll work on it.

Anyone know where I can get a few pews?

Layed up

Funny. I've wished and wished and wished for time off from work to lay around and write or school myself in editing. I've spent days making coffee and samiches for Suffukians leaning against the counter trying to write between lattes just thinking, "If I could just sit at home for a week, I'd finish this first draft ("House Boy" - a thrilling little piece of Southern Gothic that I've had a good time writing but have gotten sidetracked on for other cool things) and set it aside and begin a Redmoon rewrite. Then my appendix swells enough to get me out of work!

Prayer answered, write. I mean right?

Aside from fool around with my editing system, I've writen almost nothing. Well, not true. I turned a short story into a short script, got half of it trapped in my laptop before it crashed and wrote the other half freehand. I wanted to begin breaking the short down to shoot, but, well, you see the pieces aren't together and I have to have a clean script in front of me with all my tools and it's just the way. So I'm kept from that.

I could finish House Boy. I really could. But I've gotten so motivated with the short that it's all I can think about. Shots. Angles. Looks. Style.

What a complainer! Maybe my brains mushed from all the percaset.

On the practical front, I have a meeting in Richmond to join the local 487 (thanks again Ray). I just pray for work that takes me away from "Would you like whip cream on that?" and brings me to "How do I tie a bullnose torcowatcha knot?" I've been working towards a sort of self motivated film degree - with no cool diploma at the end, just hopefully a career of any sort tangetially related to the dream. I have two cool diplomas already, both of which are lost somewhere in my desk drawers - and no career to show for them - only a coffee shop. Neither one was business. But I figure, if I can work on sets to pay the bills and meet people like me striving for the dream, write and make shorts - I'll be happy. Right? Will I be satisfied then? Or will I have to win an Oscar?

Been tagged

Been tagged by David. New at this. Here goes.





1. I meditate in the shower in the morning. Cannot turn the hot water off for at least 30 minutes until I visualize the day, its difficulties, and what I have going for me in any upcoming conflict situations. Kind of plan my attack for the day. I've tried getting out of the shower sooner than that. Doesn't work. Heather always thinks I'm playing with myself. But I hate doing that in the shower.





2. I hate needles. Not a unique one, but I mean, I HATE NEEDLES. Just got my apendix taken out today, and the worst part...not the idea of having my stomach sliced open...not having my ass sticking out of that cute gown that I looked so manly in...not pissing in a water bottle to have the nurse document the color and amount...not telling six nurses and two doctors in my town that I smoke pot, but the worst part...the fucking IV. I mean. I turned white, my eyes rolled in the back of my head, and I almost melted. But then the morphene kicked in. And I was delicious.





3. I used to think that if I flushed the toilet while I sat on it, I'd get sucked into the pipes. It was a long time ago. I swear.





4. I have a secret desire (only really Heather knows) to be a gansta rapper. Seriously. Just ain't got the street cred. Yet;)





5. I won't share my milk with anyone...not even my wife or kids. Just something about the opacity of that white cow juice. Flashback to my big brother's room, circa 1990. I'm clipping my toe nails across the room. He's watching sports center on his bed, drinking a cool glass of whole milk. I'm clipping. Clipping. Letting the slivers drop into his rug because I'm his little brother and I knew it would drive him nuts. He looks at me. "You're not leaving those in the rug." I say, "I'll pick em up." A few minutes go by. He gets to the bottom of his now luke warm glass and what does he find? Believe it! A toe nail! He chased me for hours around the house until we both busted out laughing. Nevertheless, don't touch my milk.





6. I multitask way too much. Always have. I've always thought it made me well rounded. But now I think, it's just killing me. But I can't stop. I just love doing many different things.





7. My wife Heather is by far my best friend. Not a lie. Not writing it because she could see it. She knows it's true. I mean, I listen to guys complain about their wives like, "It's a guy thing to do." Like we're supposed to think of her as a ball and chain. But, she's my favorite person to be with, whether it's at dinner, at a baseball game, in a strip bar, or making a film. She's talented, artistic, true, and beautiful. Sometimes I don't understand what she sees in me.





8. I've never made a single cent writing anything, except a menu.





9. Religion gives me the creeps, but I love God.





10. Got more ideas for stories and poems at baseball practice than anywhere else. May be the reason I didn't get much PT in college.



Not sure who to tag

Mr. Bootles - because he posted something about a Flannery O'Conner adaptation...I've written a feature length adaptation to one of her stories and I'm fascinated to know which one he had the rights too.

Could you describe the Ruckus? - because his blog looks sharp, and LAID (what I could glean from the blog) intrigues me.

two's all I can do. Apendix hurts.

Screening

Went up to Richmond to see our 48 hour film screened. Not as big a rush as I'd hoped. I don't know whether it's because it wasn't "my" project or because I was disappointed in the way the film actually turned out or whether I've learned so much from the process that the screening took on a position of irrelevence. Either way, sat there with the wife and kids and watched these films, our being 9th in a line of 14. Ours was below average compared to the rest. Sound too low. Story too big. Lighting inconsistant. Looked like a student film, which it was. Not even actually, most of us weren't even film students. Whatever comes of it, I'm working on another short with my friends, writing it now-putting off writing it to hit this blog. It's a short story I wrote as a grad student and would make a tight short film. (shooting for under ten minutes) But seeing my pictures on the big screen only showed me how much more I needed to learn, especially set between some really amazing short films. I love how every step towards it - shows me how many more steps I'll have to take. But the journey never seems unspanable.

Also, got brief notes back on Redmoon from the Virginia Screenwriter's Competition. Bumped in the first round, but the notes pointed to problems I knew were there and are easily fixed. (I think). The reader even indicated that with only a few more revisions, he or she believes it has a chance to win. I really just want the feedback. It's a feature I really think could be shot for cheap and has a great twist on the typical horror genre - a genre that really needs some shaking up in my opinion. But anyway...enough stalling. Back to writing.

48 Hour Film Festival

Just got back from the 48 film festival in Richmond. We didn't make it in time. Made a great film. And that's why I went. I learned so much there. So much that I'm too tired to right it all. But I've made a huge step. I've made a film. I worked with a team of 20 and we developed a story, cast it, rehearsed it, I worked with actors to get them comfortable with their lines, we found locations, solved problems, and shot some killer scenes - all with a shotgun deadline in our face. I know I'm on my way.

41/2 day

4 1/2 days until the 48 hour film fest in Richmond. My co-producer and I, though we've never worked on anything together, are putting together (what I think) is an amazing effort at preproduction. Since we don't know a genre or anything plotwise, it's been a challenge to cover all the other bases. Heather and I scouted locations yesterday, which as you can imagine, is almost impossible since we know nothing of the story. But we had fun hanging out and looking for a variety of places for photography. I can just feel my brain putting all this shit into little compartments for later. Thank you Konrad Winters for telling my to just do it. Thanks Ray.

I've done a few new things in my life. Things I always felt I wanted to do. I always knew I wanted to get married and have kids. Can't prepare for that. Always knew I wanted to run my own business. Didn't prepare for that. Just did it. Always knew I wanted to make films. Working on it.

Filmed today!

Actually filmed today. It's like learning to walk as a child (at least I'll imagine it was like this since I can't remember) and actually standing against the couch. For some reason (actually many excuses - work, kids, life) I don't get to actually film anything as much as I'd like. I mean, narrative stuff. Sure, I could walk outside and film my yard or the woods or traffic and play with my camera, but that's like jerking off. Satisfying for the time being, but unfulfilling in the long run. But today I met a couple of aspiring filmmakers who I'm participating in the 48 hour film project with. We filmed a little teaser for their site. A western spoof. Filmed it in Java for about an hour. Was great working with people. Funny. I'm shy. Not a great attribute for a filmmaker, but it's the reason I turned to writing in the first place. But being shy, I've always been aprehensive about the collaberative nature of filmmaking, but actually working with people has been the best part of this whole initiation. I've found that filmmaking brings me out, and the rush of working on a common project and having input and taking input from other artists is a blast. It's the part I most feared, but the part I most enjoy. Great discovery.

Exploring

A great screenwriter turned me on to this (thanks D), and being a writer, or someone desperately dreaming to become someone who can get the balls to actually call himself that, I took his advice and began reading the various blogs - his and those linked to his.

Astonishing.

Accomplished writers, those getting paid to write, those with the balls to introduce themselves at parties as "a writer" or even ballsier, a "screenwriter" also have moments, days, weeks, months and years where they feel as if they should just give up. I've read them like a sicko, spying into this world I so want to live in. I'm not a sicko, at least I tell myself that, but my wife would disagree. But I've read the repeated posts, the unending stream of self deprication, the echoes of my own thoughts about my future as....okay....a writer.

Right now I've never felt closer to becoming a writer. I mean, I actually write every single day. Something I've never done, even while in school trying to become a writer. I edit my shit. Something new and terrifying. I rewrite it, and have actually given copies of it to people other than my wife and mom. Pathetic, I know. But I've been busy. That's what I tell myself to feel better about all the procrastination.

But reading the blogs made me realize another thing. Reading everyone's inner thoughts and feelings, their angst and anguish is sick. I am a sicko. Unless I post mine. True, no one's reading this, but that's not the point now is it. I'm writing. I'll get better at it, and have fun with it, even if my words only ever echo back to my own ears, unheard by anyone else. They'll be said.